I’m alive and well - despite the silence in here. Life just happens to be very chaotic right now, and leaves little time for internet (including my blog mail, sorry!). Nothing to worry about though, in many ways it is a good kind of chaos. I study a lot. And when I say a lot, I truly mean a lot. Yesterday I spent 13h in front of my laptop, slowly filling a document with text, keeping focused with the help of coffee and Harry Potter (click on that link, I promise you won't regret it). When I don't study I watch nature documentaries and eat ice cream with Otto; stay up late to discuss the messed up world we live in, the helplessness that fills our current existence; I read news that make me cry, news that make me angry; and although I try not to (because I know they don't want me to), I worry for my friends because muslim women are getting attacked in the streets of Edinburgh, with words, with rocks, with broken glass. And I am constantly, endlessly, reminded of how privileged I am, living my sheltered life with a warm bed to sleep in, with enough money to buy food, studying something that I love.
That's part of why it's been so quiet in here. It has felt too weird, too fabricated, to post photos of fireworks and selfies, to write about what I've been doing lately without mentioning the weariness and the pain. At the same time, as my mind is a total and utter mayhem, it has been impossible to collect my thoughts into coherent sentences. Into something meaningful. I've tried several times, and failed - but maybe this is the best I can do? Maybe I should just press publish and leave my incomplete thoughts here, because I don't think I'll do a better job anytime soon.
Speak to you soon, and take care of each other.